Instead, of obsessing about ‘Who am I’, ask yourself why you feel the need to label yourself at all. And when it comes to sex, “normality” is not really a useful construct. Most people go through a period of anxiety over the questions “Who am I sexually?” and “Am I normal?” In fact, these questions can only elicit artificial answers, since fully knowing oneself can be a very long process involving a great deal of experimentation. You are at a very early stage of sexual self-discovery. Please help me – this has been an ongoing problem since I was 16 and I am finding each day a struggle. Nor does lesbian porn – only straight porn works. That said, I have watched gay porn and it doesn’t turn me on. I am concerned I might be gay, though: I sometimes find I’m thinking about men, and looking at them when I’m out and about. I have had sex with women and I enjoy it, but generally I don’t find myself massively aroused. I am a 22-year-old male and I’m very confused about my sexuality.
